Its ThrowBackThursday

 

Yello! Mehn its Thursday again and am so in the mood of throwing back some oldies  #throwbackthursday#. Well while you at work or probably at home going through your archive or long lost memory card for that old picture to upload on instagram, have gat a story to share. Who says you can’t share a story on #throwbackthursday#.

Xoxo once upon a time, in the past not so long ago I was a primary school student. Now take a pause there, this story won’t be complete if I didn’t mention that am an Ibadan babe, yeah right! I said it. So I grew up in that half ghetto half butter area of Ibadan, so you know I was crooked in an amazing way. 

Back to my story, yeah a primary school student can’t remember the actual class though, but I was old enough to fool the whole school which I did. In my school we had clicks, the boys had their clicks and girls had their cult! Am not gonna use clicks cos damn! Girls back then took things really serious.

Being the crooked amazing girl that I was, for some time I ruled as the princess or let me say queen of my class, every girl did my bidding when I say “we are not going to play with tope for the next three month, oh my! tope have to go and look for friends in the lower or higher class ni o’’. Yes I was cool like that. But sadly just as the reign of evil queens never last my despotic reign was short lived, another girl took over. Now in the process of taking over a kingdom especially from a tyrant, you have to do away with the old witch and that’s where the problem lies I wasn’t going down without a battle, hell no!

Unfortunately this new queen gat charms, she was good and considerate, gradually my popularity in class became memories, and it was one of the lowest point in my primary school years(sad face this is quite emotional for me)  But hell no! I belong to the top and am gonna get back there.

Now I have to strategize, this is way beyond my class now, my very existence in this school as been threatened cos if you not popular you not existing. So I thought and thought how do I get my girls to like me back? And it occurs to me I will have to pull a prank on the whole school. But what am I gonna do? I decided to pull a FAINTING feat! Am awesome right?

Yeah I know.

Not to leave any stone on touched; in case of background checks I started exhibiting my plans from home on that fateful day. Woke up that morning more sluggish than ever, ate little out of my breakfast just to act sick, was unnecessarily quite at the assembly ground when I got to school, and I made sure I complained to the only girl talking to me that have been dizzy all morning. My target was the break time.

The bell rang, like thunder and I had a weak smile on my face, victory at last.

Everyone ran to the play ground to get their snack I walked, bought one cheap snack like that, I wasn’t about wasting money on something I was not going to eat anyway. Then I picked a class closest to the play ground, this class had a lot of potential it was the baby class, they call it crèche now (or whatever it is they call it I don’t keep track) . So the class had a stay in teacher that seems to be compassionate enough, I also made sure the only girl that seems to like me was with me so she might raise the alarm when I go down.

I walked through the class cos the class leads to other classes, greeted the aunty weakly and as I was about stepping out of the class which was a good spot to land, I made sure the auntie’s eyes were on me then I stylishly went down without a scratch. I guess you guys can imagine the rest but am still gonna tell ya.

As I touched the ground my only friend started screaming as expected, the aunty was like “what happened to her? What is it? talk to me” damn! That girl was good, she almost screamed her brains out 

then I thought ‘why didn’t I involve her in the plan all along since she can scream so well’’. Anyway the aunty joined her in the screaming and before long the whole school was all over me, right there and there they held a deliverance session, they were casting and binding, pouring all sort of water over me and putting different kind of fingers and spoons in my mouth. Guys I really suffered that day, 

but the end justifies the means.

Then the headmistress came around and was talking about getting the car ready to take me to the hospital, I was supposedly still unconscious, I realized it was time to make my grand recovery. I slightly opened my eyes to see if my targeted audiences were in attendance,

there they were weeping profusely for their beloved. I gave some heartily cough of relieve and  satisfaction,then I opened my eyes looking all confused and weak. Well you know, the rest is history.

The next day in class, I came in, still acting all sick and weak there was jubilation in the air. I gave my cute little smile to my entire subject, yes am back the queen is back.  

Xoxo in case you reading this and you were in my class back then, don’t take it personal a girl gat to do what she has to do, see it as the confession of a crook.

Happy throwbackthursday